Indelible and Definite

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Encaustic and Mixed Media by Rowena Meyer-Allen

Each time I look in the mirror
I see her in firm shape of jaw
Soft curve of lip, angular ledge of cheekbone, piercing eye
Her hips have graced mine with far more
Than I wanted – more than I used to be
Reminding me her imprint is indelible and definite.

When she was wasting away
I would bathe her and think – I will never
Let this happen to me but as I ripen
To the age she fell from life,
Shaken free from family by cruel mortification,
My body continues its steady metamorphosis,
Each morning a deepening assurance
She now lives right here, within me

Her softer essence cherished but in all honesty,
Her harsh beauty terrified me
And it still does. I resisted her in life,
Grieve for her in death and now,
Struggle with physical form making me wonder
If this body too, will betray me.

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